Is This Isn’t a Top, There Will Never BE a Top

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I love newspapers. I don't know where I'd be without my New York Times every day.

But there's no worse newspaper, in my experience, than USA Today. It put the "ban" in "banal". During the rare instances that I travel, it's the newspaper that lands on the door to my hotel room, and even then I don't bother reading it.

So I otherwise wouldn't have been aware of its front page today, but a thoughtful Sloper sent it to me:


Yep, that's right. Wall Street is telling you to Get Back Into STOCKS. And you'll be getting them at sensational bargains, to boot!

I'll close by asking the USA Today Marketing Department – – of all the Cohens you had to choose from for this article, did you really have to land on Abby Joseph? She's like eye candy for masochists.

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