A Siri With a Fringe on the Top

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Most of you know that Siri is Apple’s voice-recognition system. Those of you who use it regularly probably also know that it sucks whale. I have frequent need to send lengthy text messages, and Siri invariably mangles the words. Indeed, something tells me that an evil engineer is at work, because it will particularly screw up pronouns, including those that sound nothing alike. For example, “he” becomes “you”, which, as you guess, completely and utterly changes the content of just about any sentence imaginable.

For example, if I text my wife regarding one of our children, “He should really stop screwing around and do the work required”, and Siri changes “He” to “You” (which it has done dozens of times), then Siri has not only ruined my message but has also gotten me in serious trouble with the spouse. So I’m sick of it.

As an experiment, I am going to read everything I’ve typed here into Siri and put the translation below. Keep in mind that I speak with no accent and with superb enunciation, so it’s not like I’m drunk at a noisy bar and am speaking with a thick Scottish brogue. Let’s see how it does; here goes:

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Most of you know that Siri is apples voice recognition system. Those if you use it regularly probably also know that it sucks well. I have frequent need to send link the text messages and Siri invariably mingles the words. Indeed something tells me that an evil engineers at work because it will particularly screw pronounce including those that sound nothing alike. For example he becomes you which as you guessed completely and I really changes the content of just about any sentence imaginable.

For example if I text my wife regarding one of her children he should really stop screwing around and do the work required in Siri changes he to you which it is done dozens of times and Siri is not only ruined my message but has also gotten me in serious trouble with a spouse. So I’m sick of it.

As an experiment I’m going to read everything I’ve typed here into Siri and put the translation below. Keep in mind that I speak with them accent and with suburban infusion so it’s not like I’m drunk at a noisy bar and I’m speaking with a thick Scottish brogue. Let’s see how it does.

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