This upcoming Monday, September 26th, will be the first (of three) presidential debate. I have been looking forward to this day for literally months. It’s not too soon to get the popcorn popping, the soft drinks chilling, and the air horns waiting.
I have written about this astonishing election off and on during the course of the year. Like most of the country, I am not a fan of either candidate. It seems to me most of the interest in either candidate is simply based on despising the other one. My view is this: if Hillary Clinton is elected, it will be for a similar reason for Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. He did it by not being George Bush, and she’ll do it by not being Donald Trump.
Well, I didn’t expect this. Honestly, I thought Cankles was 100% guaranteed to be our next President. But this is hot off the wire……….
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce to you your next First Lady:
Just to show how content creation is always on my mind, here’s this anecdote: last night, I had a dream about meeting famed comedian Patton Oswalt at a bar (yes, normal men have dreams of meeting beautiful supermodels; me, I dream of meeting comedians). In the dream, I persuaded a reluctant Patton to take a photo with me. He was a relatively good sport about it, even though this request happened to him constantly.
The dream was so vivid, that when I woke up, I was relieved to have an easy post for the blog, since I had this really cool picture of me and Patton Oswalt. After a few moments, I realized – – whoops – – there was no meeting, and there is no picture, so……..no post. Aww, screw it, here’s a bad fake:
I want to quote something I penned back in the (much happier) days of January 9, 2016 about the presidential election: “Hillary Clinton will win the election if things more or less, kinda sorta stay the same. In other words, the status quo begets the status quo…………….It’s as simple as that. Status Quo means Hillary. Financial Mayhem means Bernie. Fear means Trump. The events above will determine the winner. You heard it here first.”
Well, look around. You’ve got a VIX that was just yesterday at $12. You’ve got a Wall Street which runs with impunity. You’ve got the Clintons, who have squeezed countless tens of millions out of the corrupt system, all the while espousing the virtues of the lower classes (while wearing $13,000 Armani jackets). And you’ve got a market which is applauding this apathy by way of charts that look just like they do every day……..the S&P……..
Today I received in the mail the State of California Primary Voter’s Guide, which the Secretary of State prints up by the millions and sends to every blessed citizen. I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate – AKA the World’s Most Exclusive Club – but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
First off is a chap named Tim (I like him already………) who, understandably, doesn’t associate himself with any particular party. It seems what matters to him most is good old J.C., and he comes right to the point: