Category Archives: Best-of-Slope

Finger on the Trigger (by a Sloper)

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Note from Tim: Nearly seven years ago, Market Sniper (“Dutch”) wrote a piece called The Very Last Day in One Trader’s Life, a personal tale. In a similar vein, another Sloper, whom has requested anonymity, offers up this autobiographical tale (unlike Dutch’s, which was about a friend), and I am grateful for this thoughtful contribution. I usually embellish posts, including those from outside contributors, with graphics to make them more interesting and approachable, but I am leaving this as an unadorned essay, as originally submitted:

Let’s talk about something dark. Something really dark. This may not be appropriate for a trading blog. This is a story about suicide. A very personal story about failed life expectations, great loss, and how nice guys finish last.

Ever since age 16, I was driven. I had high life goals, school was easy, grades were high, and life was high. Life came easy. I was born with a silver spoon. My parents were not super rich, but very conservative and had zero debt with enough savings to give their children every advantage they could. When I was old enough to drive, my dad gave me a 1979 Chevy. It was an old beater, it didn’t impress girls, but it was mine. I was proud of it. The Chevy taught me a lot about life. I always had a pair of jumper cables handy since that battery was always dead. A lesson, I had not yet realized the importance. There is always option B when things look dire. A backup plan.

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Stupidity Unwound

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Look, honestly, I know I am not the brightest bulb in the hardware store, but this is my perception of recent events:

  1. When Trump was elected, in spite of the initial “holy shit!” reaction of limit-down markets, people assumed his willingness to rape the environment and let corporations run amok would be really good for equities, so they bid them into the stratosphere.
  2. A key component – – indeed probably the most important component – – of his bluster was that he was going to “repeal and replace” ObamaCare. I frankly think there is NO solution to the health care mess in the U.S., but that’s not the point of this post.
  3. Even with BOTH houses of Congress in his party, he completely failed to pass his first major legislative initiative. Make no mistake, this should be perceived as a totally pathetic embarrassment which presages his utter failure as “President”
  4. This algo-driven market, since it’s completely retarded and devoid of thought, actually RALLIED on the news.
  5. Now that we’ve had the weekend to let reality sink in just a little bit, maybe the stupid algos are realizing what dumbfucks they were on Friday and are dumping the ES, as God intended.

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Trump PEAKED with his silly little speech to Congress in February when the mass media desperately tried to pretend that, gee whiz, maybe he’s not psychotic. It’s all downhill from here folks.

Oh, and if you think I’m against the guy, I’m not. I support him fully. He’s just what I’ve been waiting for to push the globe into unchecked financial pandemonium. So I’m a fan! Go get ’em, ya orange freak.

Bearded Midget Reproduction

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After I got off the plane and was heading toward the airport exit, I saw something I don’t think I 0317-beardedhad ever seen before: a woman with a beard. Although I only took in this scene for a moment, three things were immediately clear to me: (1) she was, in fact, a woman with a full beard (2) even clean-shaved, she would have been quite unattractive (3) she was wearing Star Wars pajamas in the middle of the day at the Los Angeles airport. It was only this third quality that I found charming.

In spite of the pajamas, I did not want to have sex with this person. I did not want her to have children with me. I hope some of you reading this can find sympathy with my disposition.

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They’re a Person Too

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Yesterday, I went into the Palo Alto Whole Foods to pick up a few items for dinner. The checkout lines were surprisingly short, so I went to a line with just one guy buying some groceries. After a couple of moments, I took in the scene: the young woman running his items over the scanner was being completely ignored by the customer, who was engaged in a cell phone conversation.

I would guess he was in his early to mid 20s, and he acted like the woman didn’t exist. One by one, she priced the items, and once she was done, he shoved his credit card into the machine, took the bag, and left without a single word.

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Keeping It Real

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This post has to do with something which may seem like an oxymoron: integrity in financial prognostications. What inspired me to address this topic? Oh, that’s easy:

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As you can see, back on February 22nd, Dennis “Commodity King” Gartman went on CNBC to declare that, at long last, for the first time in about five years, he was bullish on crude oil.

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Should You Go to College?

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As the headline to this post suggests, I’m not going to write about charts or the stock market right now. I certainly could, because I’m actually enjoying trading more than I have in quite some time, and I am very heavily exposed with 64 positions using over 200% of my portfolio cash value. However, I don’t have anything especially new to say, so I’d rather lay out some thoughts that occurred to me – – when else? – – during a dog walk.

As I was strolling along in the chilly pre-dawn hours, I asked myself how much good college has done for me. It didn’t take me long to conclude: zero. Some of you know that I graduated from college rather swiftly (in just 2 1/2 years), since I was eager to get into the world of work. The information I garnered during those 2 1/2 years hasn’t been useful to me even once during the many years since I graduated, and there isn’t a single contact I made in college that was beneficial to me in any way at all.

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