Category Archives: Humor

Doing God’s Work

By -

Over the past few days, I have been shorting, and shorting, and shorting some more. This morning, in the face of a big red number on my portfolio and a market poised to continue surging, I entered my final 35 positions, bringing my total to 143 shorts. Shortly thereafter, well, things started changing color. I am prepared to, once again, be a hero or a fool. May God smile upon the bears as they execute his holy work in this poisonous land.

Democracy In Action

By -

This is a riot: watch the gubernatorial debate in Florida as the two candidates have a pissing match over………….a fan. One of the candidates wanted a fan for a little bit of cooling, and the other guy insisted it was against the rules of the debate (in point of fact, the rules forbid “electronics” like, oh, say, having a personal computer or iPhone during the debate, which makes sense – – – most folks agree a small electric fan does not qualify as “electronics”). Pull up a chair, grab a Coke and popcorn, and enjoy:

Open Memo

By -

To: Dip Buyers
From: Tim Knight
Date: October 7, 2014

Dear Dips,

Over the past five years of government-manipulated markets, you have had great success in making money simply by purchasing equities whenever weakness appeared. The weaker the market, the greater the opportunity. Bernanke, Yellen, Fischer, and others “chosen” (heh) for this role have had your back.

I put it to you that, unbeknownst to your ilk, the firmament beneath you has shifted, and you are in for a surprise if you persist in this simple-minded investment method.

Of course, your personal fortune means nothing to me. On the contrary, I want you to suffer. But I offer this memo principally because the vestiges of your philosophy are causing intraday pops in the market which I find annoying.

It’s time to let this market drop. You’ve had your day in the sun (with “day” being synonymous with half a decade), but it’s really time you step aside and make room for your betters.

Yours, Etc.

Timothy Knight (Mrs.)