Category Archives: Humor

I Bite My Thumb At You, Sir

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If anyone is wondering what the reason is for the nearly 50 point reversal (which is huge) on the ES since last night, ZeroHedge identified it earlier today. I think we’re all quite weary of all things Gartman, but I must be plain on this one point: more than anything else, it’s his writing style that drives me right up the tree. Here’s the excerpt from last night, as quoted by our friends over in Tyler-ville. Please take note of the flowery, faux-elegant language:

This bear run is not over. There is more to be gotten on the downside. If we must put forth a target to the market’ downside we can suggest accepting Goldman Sachs’ latest estimate for earnings by the S&P listed companies of $110-$115 this year. If we apply a still higher than average P/e of 15 compared to the present level, that give us a target to the downside of 1690; a 16 P/e gives us a target of 1800 and in the broad scheme of things those are not illogical targets to the downside.

We shall strongly urge those who are still aggressively long of equities to become less so; we shall urge those who are upon the sidelines and are “punters” rather than long term investors to err obviously on the short side and we shall urge long term investors who’ve been fortunate enough to have gone to the sidelines to do what they can and what they must to convince themselves that things are not yet “cheap” enough to warrant even nibbling at equities. Patience and discretion shall be… as they always are… the far better parts of investment valor.

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Those Who Can’t Do, Teach

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I’ve been receiving a large quantity of really positive emails lately, some of them so over-the-top that it’s a little embarrassing to read them. I got an interesting one this morning (which wasn’t over the top, but was pleasant in any case) I wanted to share, and I’m doing so with the writer’s permission. I’ve boldfaced a couple of bits.

Dear Tim,

I have been following you for about two years now and highly respect your opinion and show. Your charts speak a thousand words. You keep saying you need more time, but I think the charts speak for themselves. 6 months ago when you said oil was going to 20s, I called my dad and said “Tim Knight is crazy! 20s in oil” My dad also watches your show. I help my dad trade his retirement account along with my account. Today, my dad said, “Tim Knight is the best and called it.”

Unfortunately, I am taking an investments class in college and its been tough to not rant about Tim Knight Theories. We are learning that Charts don’t show much and cannot be the basis for investing. You would probably have a heart attack from screaming. It is hard to learn, but is entertaining to listen to.

2016 will be exciting

The Gartman Grid

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I see that Dennis is front-and-center on ZeroHedge this morning, so I thought I’d offer up these thoughts: we all have opinions on the stock market. However, very few of us have daughters that are Senior Line Producers (whatever that means) on CNBC, thus we cannot share our musings with the rest of the world.  Happily, there is one Dennis Gartman who is blessed with just such a situation, and he appears on CNBC with more frequency than even the great Janet Yellen (plus he hasn’t fainted on camera yet, not even once).

Mr. Gartman’s pontifications, however, can at times be opaque and thus hard to interpret, so I would like to offer this easy-to-use grid to help you tease out precisely where the man stands. The quadrant is comprised of two simple binary facts:

Horrible Colorful Tie or Open Collar? – Dennis likes to mix up the wardrobe. Sometimes he goes footloose and fancy-free, doffing the tie and leaving the top shirt button joyously undone. At other times, he steps up his game and goes for the All Business look, donning a tie which contains colors rarely found in the natural world. (more…)