Category Archives: Snark

Infinite Cans, Infinite Roads

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In the opening scene of Woody Allen’s 1975 film Love and Death, his character Boris narrates: “Isn’t all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed? The difference is that all men go eventually, but I go six o’clock tomorrow morning. I was supposed to go at five o’clock, but I have a smart lawyer. Got leniency.”

And that, my friends, is exactly what we’ve just seen with this entire Greece farce.

How much ink was spilled analyzing this? How many blog posts went up on ZeroHedge alone about what could happen, what might happen, and what the various probabilities were?

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Rocket Fuel’s Descent

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Below is the entire history of FUEL as a public company. You can see how well the shareholders have done. I glanced at the company description, and it read something like “Specialists in digital advertising that leverages big data.” So with three nauseating buzzwords in a row, I say: screw ‘em. Oh, and by the way, this doesn’t reflect the after-hours bid/ask. Why is that, Tim? Because the 10-handle on the bid is so low, it’s not even visible on this chart.

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Government Brilliance In Action

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I’ve written before about Palo Alto’s clumsy attempts to prevent teen suicide by posting guards at two sections of railroad track here in town (which constitutes about 0.1% of the tracks available on which to fling yourself). To my knowledge, in spite of being posted there for five years now, these guards haven’t prevented a single suicide. I was always a little curious how much my fair city was spending on these guys, who basically sit on plastic chairs and stare into space all day. This morning’s paper gives me my answer:

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Bad Burrito

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One sure-fire bet for years has been to be bullish the purveyor of so-so burritos Chipotle. I’ve never……….ever………understood the appeal, but I had given up shorting the damned thing. Well, after hours, the tides have finally turned. Those bold enough to be long puts are going to have huge gains in the morning, and the poor souls who actually sold puts against CMG are going to get smacked. With the stock down $50 already, it looks like the glory days of the over-hyped grill are perhaps at an end. It’s about time.

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