Category Archives: Snark

Remember CMGI?

By -

During the Internet bubble, there was this one stock that was insanely powerful – – CMGI. It was some kind of “roll up” of little Internet companies, and the (idiotic) investing public went crazy about it.

As the bubble was bursting, however, people began to refer to CMGI as “Can’t Make Good Investments”, and it undid pretty much all of its multi-thousand percent gains. For no particular reason, I was wondering whatever happened to them, and sort of like how the Weinstein Company is changing its name, CMGI did the same……….now known as ModusLink Global Solutions, whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean. Here’s the arithmetic chart:

slopechart_MLNK (1)

(more…)

Marvelously Dreadful

By -

Having finished my first screenplay (and actively seeking backing for it – – if you’re in the business, write me!), I have a interest in the movie industry stronger than ever. I had never heard of The Room before, but apparently it was written, directed, and starred in by a first-timer with a budget of six million dollars. Its take at the box office was $1800, and from all accounts it is one of the worst movies ever made. I humble offer to you some sample scenes for your enjoyment. Shield your eyes, Frank.

(more…)

A Glorious Piece of Crap

By -

If you are anything like me – – and, trust me, I hope you aren’t, but just in case – – your head is filled with jingles and commercials from decades ago. For no particular reason, one popped into my head recent, which was for the 1980 Chevy Citation. “It’s the first………Chevy of the Eighties…….”

Now, even as a child, I had utter disdain for American cars, and the Citation was no exception. I intuitively knew they were poorly-engineered and slapped together by overpaid UAW employees, and thus, until the Tesla came along, I never bought anything built in the good old U.S.A.

(more…)

Apple’s Poo Hits the Fan

By -

I’m not going to mince words: I think the features Apple is cramming into the newest iPhone has reached retard level. Being able to talk and have your voice portrayed by an animated chimp, or a unicorn, or – – my favorite – – a big pile of shit – – just isn’t what the world needs.

As I said yesterday, it’s all about marginal utility. The delta between “no iPhone exists” to the first iPhone was gigantic. Everyone just had to have one. Ten years later, though, they’re sort of running out of meaningful or useful new features, and it’s starting to show:

0921-poo

(more…)