A Nation of Twits

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As everyone on the planet knows, Twitter is being priced Wednesday afternoon and hits the public markets (e.g. the bag-holders) on Thursday. This not-for-profit organization is, of course, the big IPO of the year. And who could blame citizens for being excited? Just take a look at the luminaries topping the charts of Twitter popularity……


I know I’m getting older, but I seriously haven’t even heard of some of these people before. Cristiano Ronaldo could walk up to me on the street, and I’d be clueless (to say nothing of Adele – – who I see is one of these single-name douchebags).

Considering that Ms. Perry has nearly 50 million followers, I can only assume that her tweets are entertaining, informative, and hilarious. So I took a look.


Ummm. So 46 million people read this shit day in and day out? There must be some other reason people like her………which maybe rhymes with “twits”:


The world sucks. Let’s face it. Most humans are imbeciles, and the market is capitalizing on them. Of course, if I was the one with 46 million followers instead of 10,500 (which is a ratio of something like 4,444 to 1) maybe I’d feel different. My only hope is that, as I get older, my tits might actually catch up with hers.


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