Tomorrow, Friday, November 18th, 2022, is literally judgement day for Elizabeth Holmes, the world-famous founder of Theranos. Although her fall from grace took vastly longer than, let’s say, Samuel Bankman-Fried’s, it was sensational enough to warrant books and movies. I can’t imagine how nervous she must be at this very moment. She lives about ten miles from where I do.
I’ve taken a glance or two at the sentencing memorandum her lawyers submitted to the judge who will decide her sentence (if any), and I wanted to share some thoughts before tomorrow when the news comes out. I am not sure precisely what time of day the news hits, but it’ll be sometime during the court’s business hours here on the west coast.
The 70+ page memorandum essentially spells out that Elizabeth is a very good person who meant no harm, and it is backed up by over 130 individual letters of support from friends, family, and prominent public figures. They are obviously going to throw everything they can into this, since there’s an enormous difference between the 15 year prison stint the prosecutors want and the 18 month home confinement that her lawyers suggest. (In case you are not aware, her “home” is a palatial mansion owned by the rich family she married into). Even looking at the table of contents to the sentencing memo, it sounds like an application to be granted access into Heaven.
Diving into the details, the memo is packed to the gills with high praise for her as a human, a mother, and a friend.
At the end of this tome, her attorneys suggest that, at the very most, she should receive 18 months of staying at home (which, for a homebody like myself, sounds like paradise) especially in light of the “terrifying prospect of incarceration while the mother of a new baby.” (In case you hadn’t heard, she deliberately had the first two children of her entire life in a shameless bid for sympathy from the court; she literally created two new lives as a legal prop).
Now, I have written about Ms. Holmes and Theranos more times than I can remember over the past decade. Before the news of her crime broke, I remember vividly visiting my parents in Georgia, who held up their copy of Fortune with Elizabeth’s face on the cover and telling me “This is our favorite entrepreneur.” They had taken the bait, just like most of the public.
I remember once that George Carlin said, “You may not believe this, based on some of the stuff I’ve said over the years, but I like people.” Well, I’m here to say exactly the same thing. I have written and tweeted about Holmes for many years, and they’ve almost always been pretty nasty, but I think in my heart of hearts, I would be sad to see her thrown in prison.
Most of this impulse doesn’t come from a good place. In other words, I don’t think she’s utterly innocent and deserving of mercy. Probably 90-95% of my pity is based on sexism on my part. That is to say, when I see a happy young family (with a big dog, no less), I don’t yearn for the mother to be incarcerated. It just strikes me as too sad (which, let’s face is, was her entire gambit, although there’s not a doubt in my mind that she truly does love her children).
I have no knowledge of training about the penal system or its philosophy, but I think we can all degree that she isn’t a physical threat to anyone. After all, I’m happy to lock up whatever murders, arsonists, muggers, or rapists there are out there, but it just seems to me a shameful waste for someone who committed financial crimes to be put behind bars.
But, again, this all comes from sexism on my part, which is unfair. If she was a guy (even a new father) I would have virtually no hesitation about my desire to see him toss into the clink. I guess it’s a good thing that I’m not the judge in this case, because I am simply not impartial. The nice young mom routine is way too powerful for the likes of me.
The bottom line is that I’ll be very interested to see how the judge handles this, but in the end, the entire affair is just plain sad. Her main “crime” from my point of view was when, in 2015, she led her entire company in a rousing chorus of shouting “Fuck John Carreyou!” (the Wall Street Journal writer who exposed her). As a writer myself, and a pretty big fan of the truth, the fact that she tried to make HIM the bad guy is, for me, what’ll probably make me reconcile with her prison sentence, should such a thing transpire.
