You Want a Medal?

By -

As I went to do some online banking this morning, I was taken aback by this self-congratulatory embellishment on Bank of America's home page………


Let's break this down, shall we? 

  • Thanks for your support America – there's no need to thank me, because this was done without my consent. I don't support you, except insofar as I'd like your ATM to deliver cash to me when requested.
  • We've made good on your investment - my investment? Are you kidding me? This money was robbed at gunpoint. My investment? The gall!
  • providing capital to reinvigorate the economy – Oh, bullshit. We know precisely where the money went – – bonuses for Merrill Lynch traders. Sure, maybe a minuscule fraction went to some mom 'n' pop stores here and there, just for good public relations, but this monstrous haul was for the protection of your executives and their personal welfare.
  • and now we're repaying our debt – Do you want a medal or a chest to pin it on? I don't see reporters on my front porch every time I make a mortgage payment. Look at me! I'm repaying my debt! Where's the band?
  • with interest – Oh, well thank you so much. You didn't take the money interest-free. Jesus H. Christ.