American Idol Can Go to Hell (by Nathaniel Goodwin)

By -

Well after a nice bearish day, I was really disappointed after hours. I have been auditioning for American Idol every year since 2004, and this year I finally got a golden ticket to Hollywood thanks to my sweet molasses smooth angel-like pipes. I had my family and entire WOW clan glued to the TV tonight to watch my audition that was supposed to air. Unfortunately, it was cut…

Ticket copy
(I'm 5' 9", note Seacrest's dwarfish proportions)

I called one of the producer’s assistant’s assistant, and was told that I was disqualified from further competition due to a CD release by my high school band in 1993 "The Bloated Gunts". I told them that we only sold 11 copies, but apparently that was enough to disqualify me.

Screw them, and wait until Simon Cowell leaves next year. Here is an ugly chart of CKXE.