Imagine our once-great nation as a new land, 235 years ago. Let us dub him George America.
George is a strapping, handsome chap. He is a man full of youthful vigor, radiant ideals, and boundless zeal. And, unknown to him, he will discover in the decades to come an abundance of resources and riches that he dared never imagine. His future is astonishingly bright. This was a man is going places.
Fast forward to the present day. George isn't the young man he once was. On the contrary, he's become a bloated, lumbering shadow of his former self. His friends talk and worry about him behind his back. His once svelte frame has now ballooned, thanks to a steady diet of Big Macs and "Diet" Cokes. He's a bit of a gun nut, and his purchases – proudly displayed in several locked cases – were all funded through the use of one of his many Visa and MasterCards populating his thick wallet.
His family knows George has a problem. The phone rings at all hours with creditors asking for their minimum payments. Dunning letters appear in the mailbox regularly. There's always a moment of tension at the grocery store when Dad whips out the Visa to pay for the bags full of Cap'n Crunch and Grape Drink, because they never know if it'll come us as declined or approved.
Ironically, a letter arrived recently offering to boost George's CitiBank MasterCard by a few thousand bucks. George is pumped, because there's a new plasma screen TV he's been eyeing, and this would let him buy it with maybe enough to spare to pick up the latest installment of Fast & Furious. But George's family sat him down and had a long heart-to-heart talk with him.
It wasn't a pleasant discussion. The family knows that George is living way past his means, and piling on more debt isn't the real answer. He needs to lose weight, get a job, and live sensibly. George will have none of it. "I'm the man of this house!", he booms. "I'm George America! Doesn't that mean anything anymore?"
After tensions settled, the family reached an agreement – – yes, they would let him get the credit increase, and the goodies that came along with it – – if he would promise in the next few months to really get serious with them and work out how to get his life back in shape. He's going to do it. Pinky swear.
And, gullible saps that they are, the wife and kids nod their heads and excitedly hop into the Surburban to accompany George on the big trip to Costco to pick up that television he wanted.
Life is good again in the America household. And, by jiminy, in a few months, they're going to get it all figured out. But until then, let's just let them enjoy themselves. They deserve it, don't they?
