Nude Celebrities Redux

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With all the mayhem, chaos, and terror happening around the world, I guess it should come as no surprise that the most important things on the minds of Americuh are nekked pictures of famous people. The Jennifer Lawrence et. al. hack has been gobbling up the airwaves, and one glance at the CNN home page shows the relative amount of attention (tinted in yellow) it gets versus, say, 88 terrorists being captured (tinted in magenta).

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Let me save everyone some time with a couple of pointers:

(1) This may come as a shock, but celebrity bodies are exactly the same as everyone else’s. There are no unicorns or magic rainbows coming out of any particular orifice. Two nipples? Check. One reproductive organ? Check. Buttocks arranged in a symmetrical format? Check.

(2) Celebrities look much, much better with carefully staged photos versus real-life leaked shots. If anything, it’s probably best if you just keep the illusion alive by focusing on the pre-canned stuff. Just ask the greatest actor of the last century……….

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