Worst. Product. Ever.

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OK, it’s time for me to channel my inner Andy Rooney.

A few minutes ago, my wife pointed out one of the small clear doors in her closet was askew. It didn’t line up with the other door, and it was because the hinge wasn’t quite connect properly to the side of the shelf.

Now, I should know better by now – – I really should – – but I thought to myself, “if some kind of, oh, I don’t know, super glue could hold that in place, the problem would be solved. ” So I went down to the garage, got one of the many, many, many little tubes of super-glue (AKA Krazy Glue) I’ve bought in my lifetime, went into her closet, squeezed out a few drops, held it in place, and waited.

When I released the small acrylic door, sure enough, it simply drooped like before. I might as well have put a few drops of water in there.

And then, for the 500th time in my life, I realized: super glue doesn’t work. At all.

How they’ve been able to build a multi-decade, multi-million dollar industry out of something which, in my entire life, hasn’t worked even ONCE, is beyond me. Well, that’s not quite true. The “super glue” type products do excel at one thing: fusing fingertips together. At that, it’s unsurpassed.

It’s all in the power of marketing, I suppose. Suffice it to say that my cordless drill and a well-chosen screw took care of the problem permanently. Super. Glue. Sucks.