Buy One Eye, Get Two Crazy Eyes Free!

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In case you didn’t see the news in all my snarky tweets, Elizabeth Holmes has completely jumped the shark, and is now offering the unfortunate souls who were stupid enough to buy shares in Theranos TWO of her shares for every ONE they bought. I’m not making this up. Oh, but there’s a catch: you have to promise not to sue her blonde-haired, blue-eyed ass.

The comments bubbling around the Internet to this news are hilarious.


…..and this keeper…….


This black-turtleneck-wearing, Steve-Jobs-pretending, self-made-billionaire-faking poser is, if there is any justice, going to wind up behind bars (in spite of the insistence of her venture capital backers who claim poor Elizabeth is just the victim of sexism, and not the market punishing her for trying to sell worthless technology to unsuspecting health care providers).

She has left us one good thing, however, and that’s this video (which she paid an Oscar-winning documentary filmmaker to create, believe it or not).

I strongly suspect that Ms. Holmes’ delusions that she’s going to pull herself out of this mess will, at long last, be dismissed when the reaction she gets to this “3 for 1” offer is the sound of crickets. At that point, it may finally dawn on her that the stock she’s trying to give away for free is, in fact, overpriced.