After dropping my son off at the train this morning, I noticed a very cool-looking office in downtown Palo Alto called ascend.oi – – it was a typical downtown startup. One story, all glass front windows, expensive interior. As with almost every other startup in Palo Alto’s tiny downtown, they were basically using what had been a retail storefront as a high-tech office for their dozens of employees.
I was curious what they were about, so when I got home, I checked out their home page. Here is, I suppose, the dumbed-down mission statement front and center on their website:
Did you catch all that?
If you’re anything like me, you figure that if an individual actually fully comprehends that description of their business, he or she should be hired immediately, without hesitation. I, for one, have absolutely no clue what they are talking about.
The arcane description is adjacent to this saucy declaration:
OK, now that’s some direct, salty language. Maybe if Bruno ran the place, it would be: “Pipelines Can Blow Me” but, alas, our BDI has long departed us for the astral plane.
Personally, I’d hate to be trying to hire in this market. All the talent was hired years ago, and in an economy this strong, anyone even semi-competent is going to rake their employer over the coals for big salaries, big benefits, and lots of privileges. I mean, this little firm states front and center all the cool things you get if your are generous enough to be hired by them:
I do applaud the “pet friendly” vibe, however. It’s the first thing they state. Indeed, right on the home page their chat bot appears automatically, and the avatar is, God bless ’em, a dawg.
Suffice it to say this is an awesome time to be an extremely bright person in their early 20s who has strong tech skills. You can write your freakin’ ticket in this town.
And now, apropos of nothing, I give you the Gender Terrorist. This was recorded precisely one year before Trump won the presidency, and I gotta tell you, I think that, culturally, the enormous amount of mental space people like the…………human…………….shown below explains why the man won. Bluntly stated, the public got sick and tired of dealing with freaks.
