The bears have been absolutely smashed in April, and the month isn’t even half over. To be clear, I’m still sporting a healthy profit for 2026, far outpacing the market in general, but my experience since March 30th has been an anesthesia-free vasectomy. It’s been awful, and today isn’t any different.
What’s sickening to me is how effortlessly the bulls have blasted equities higher. The SPY could be at a lifetime high – – LIFETIME!! – – in a day or so, and we’ve already added nearly 700 points to the /ES based on nothing but, at best, milquetoast news. I shudder to think what actual good news might do.
Since I am not yet clinically insane (unlike Oscar Knight, detailed in recent days), I have kept cutting back risk. The tragedy of trading is, of course, that one gets aggressive when things are going great and cautious when things are going poorly, which is probably just the opposite of the optimal choice.
Regardless, I’m fond of most of my body parts, so early today the vast, vast majority of my assets were in safe, boring, ever-decreasing-in-value cash.
Since the market has returned to absolutely batshit-high levels, however, I will not sit idle. I present to you below six equities which I just shorted, each of which has its stop-loss level clearly marked with a dashed red line.
To be clear, I still have over 50% of all my portfolio in cash, since I feel like a person driving through the thickest of fog right now. The market has utterly changed character since a week ago.
