Trailer Trash

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One of my favorite people of all time, Norm MacDonald, somewhat famously embarrassed Courtney Thorne-Smith in this Conan interview back in the late 1990s. If you haven’t seen it, you absolutely should watch the whole thing, or if you have seen it a dozen times, like me, you will enjoy watching it again.

In spite of the specific mention of the movie “Chairman of the Board“, I never bothered finding out anything about it. Recently, however, I did, and it seems Norm’s wild guess about the quality of the movie was spot-on. It has the reputation of being one of the worst, least funny movies ever created, and from a budget of $10 million, its box office take was $181,233. Indeed, the most lengthy part of the movie’s Wikipedia entry is about the Norm MacDonald barbs.

i would never waste my time watching a movie that bad, but I had to at least check out the trailer. Please grit your teeth and take two minutes out of your life to watch this travesty;

Allow me to offer up the following specific criticisms of the above:

  1. The first scene is an obvious direct rip-off of the wake-up scene from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, complete with zany inventions.
  2. The main character’s love of crazy contraptions is, once again, a total rip-off of Pee Wee.
  3. There are a smattering of completely ridiculous sound effects, akin to those you would hear in a Warner Brothers cartoon from the early 1950s
  4. The setup of an older, sensible rich guy taking an interest in a goofy, young, poor fellow with a clever invention has been done so many times that “cliche” isn’t strong enough a word.
  5. The setup of the aforementioned older rich guy dropping dead and inexplicably leaving his vast fortune to his young protege has been done even more.
  6. And the tripe about a board of directors comprised of even older, whiter, grumpier guys who are aghast at some zany whippersnapper showing up to lead them would make a five year old boy roll his eyes with disgust.
  7. Letting a formerly staid, boring office cut loose (thanks to the fresh young blood) can be witnessed in the movie “9 to 5” and about five hundred other movies.
  8. And, finally, there seems to be an ongoing misunderstanding about mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, which is NOT the same as CPR. And neither of those procedures requires the applicant to dart their tongue about like a lizard before starting.

Suffice it to say that I’m not surprised that this was, as Norm predicted, “box office poison”. Incredibly, however, Carrot Top is sporting a net worth of $75 million or so these days, so I guess it didn’t exactly ruin his career.