She Said, She Said

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My name is Tim Knight. I am a human male. My pronouns are he, him, his.

I am married to a human female. That individual’s pronouns are she, her, hers.

Pretty basic, right? Of course, you know by now this is no longer the world we inhabit. Here, for example, is a snippet from the American University:

You got that, pal? She isn’t female. He isn’t male. In fact, while we’re at it, maybe you can get this through your thick skull:

It’s not as simple as making everything upside-down. It’s not like you call females “him” and males ‘her”. There is an entire lexicon you need to memorize.

I’m not surprised that the sample sentences helpfully provided suggest statements like “Ey is an activist” and “I am proud of per.’

As opposed to if I put it together, in which “Ze is psychotic’ and “Em really needs professional help” might be offered.

I had actually never even heard of the blandly-named American University, so I hopped over to their Twitter account. Lo and behold, right near the top was one of their students talking about something or another. Ironically, you’re not supposed to refer to the human below as “her” or “she”. You may indeed discover, upon inquiry, that the proper declarations is “Per bra must have required a lot of fabric”. Just as a for-instance.

Look, I’m a libertarian at heart. You want to consider yourself a specific gender among the thirty-seven you believe exist? Have at it. Want to get ten abortions in a row? That’s your business. Want to worship Satan while wearing a tightly-fitting leather corset? You go, girl.

Just leave me out of it. Because I draw the line at when demands are placed upon me, such as having to take the time and trouble to investigate a person’s curious language requirements.

Not that I speak to people without thinking first. I mean, I am polite to a fault, so if I see a woman who has a large belly, I’m not going to ask her if she’s pregnant. It’s just not decent. Maybe she is, or maybe she isn’t. None of my business.

But if someone asks me: who that is wearing the tight white top here on the American University campus, and I reply, looking at the lass above, “She is” I’d rather not be sent to a re-education camp. Because no harm was meant by my supposition above this individual’s gender, and since I assume the person asking me the question is, like myself, more or less sane, I’d like to communicate in a manner the both of us can comprehend.

Thank you.