Plenty of Nothin’

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By far the most common email I get these days is along the lines of “...thanks for all that you do.” As touching as I find these emails, I’m starting to wonder if I’m doing too much.

After all, we have Amazon boxes on our porch practically every day of the year, but I’ve never felt the need to write Bezos to tell him how grateful I am, mainly because I figure the money I’ve spent is balanced with what I’m receiving. So I guess the best way for me to take this is that people (especially you freebies out there, who are on Slope daily but won’t even sign up for Bronze, for crying out loud) want to express their appreciation. So……you’re welcome! Hey, I’ve got nothing better to do.

I was originally going to just do a one sentence post that said, “Hey, I’m not going to entertain you today, because I have nothing to say.” After all, it’s very hard, perhaps impossible, to make an engaging post on a financial web site when the goddamned SPY not only moved up to a new lifetime high, but also did so by way of a 0.06% move. Totally, totally annoying and tiresome. And I say that even having made a respectable profit in my all-short portfolio today.

But I’m too prone to guilt to just tell all you good people to hang, so I have to come up with…….something! Even if it’s not that good. Wow, that’s a pretty soft sell job, wouldn’t you say? But it’s actually a tiny bit interesting.

Below is a quintet of unicorn IPOs. The first four, like most unicorns, have been doing terribly, and indeed knocked out a new lifetime low in this obscenely overly-supported equity market. In other words, these companies must really, really suck. So let’s look at those first. There’s the new, otherwise known as

slopechart CHWY

Pinterest, to my eyes the most boring site on the Internet:

slopechart PINS

Smile Club Direct, which applies to their customers, if not their shareholders:

slopechart SDC

And, in the catastrophically bad marijuana sector, Sundial Growers:

slopechart SNDL

There is one unicorn which, for whatever reason, is actually doing great, and that is Peloton. ZeroHedge sneeringly dubbed them “WeBike” since, like WeWork, their financials were not exactly impressive. But you can’t argue with a record high, and PTON has actually been behaving itself very well.

slopechart PTON

On a couple of closing notes, I wanted to mention that I got bored on Sunday night and decided to put together something I call the Best Pages For You. If you think there are important pages (or categories of people) that I missed, please email me.

Lastly, in case you missed my announcement, the IV Rank is substantially improved, and I hope you’ll try it out. See you later!