Come Back, Mr. Rogers!

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See, this is why I don’t get into the whole New Year’s thing. On the whole, human life tends to suck, and when a given year is over (even ones before 2020), humanity celebrates that the Bad Stuff is behind us, and Won’t Next Year Be Great. It was certainly that way with 2020. PHEW, glad that’s over! And yet the first few days of 2021 have proved that………this year sucks, too.

But there’s still hope. I present to you the newest addition to Danish Children’s Television, provided with captions:

In case this isn’t clear:

In the series, John Dillermand is an adult man with a handlebar mustache who seems to be wearing an old-fashioned red and white striped bathing suit and cannot control his extraordinary penis. Throughout different storylines, John tries to do ordinary, everyday things, sometimes using his penis to help him (steal ice cream from children, raise the Danish flag up a flagpole, rescue a runaway baby buggy before it can roll into oncoming traffic). More often, he finds his penis just causes chaos.

Finally! A ray of sunshine in this darkened world. And an opportunity for my talents to finally be appreciated.