Bumbling Along

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There are countless examples these days of the unhinged insanity in the stock market, but I’d like to present one in particular: Bumble. Here is their entire business model:


That’s it. Basically it’s like Tinder, except women make the first move. End of story.

So how big a moat is that? I mean, anyone could come along and create a hook-up app where they require the man, the woman, the hippopotamus, or whomever else is the targeted carnal companion, to make the first move.

So this company has never made a penny, obviously, but one might assume they are insanely popular on all social media platforms. I mean, they’re worth almost $7 billion, so their footprint must be huge, right? Well, not really. On Twitter, for example, they only have about twice as many followers as minuscule Slope of Hope.


For me, the most important thing is the stock chart. Here is the entire history. In this obscenely-manipulated market, in which even bags of kitty little could sport a market cap in the billions, we have a stock which has basically been grinding down lower since its IPO. I am highly confident that in a year, it’ll be much lower, and a year after that, lower still. A dating app with a single distinguishing feature that can be replicated by anyone on the planet isn’t exactly a game-changer. I see a penny stock in their future.

slopechart BMBL

UPDATE: ummm, only an hour after putting this post together, this joke of a stock failed support. So I guess I made the first move.


slopechart BMBL