The New Ipecac

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This is not medical advice, but if you ever accidentally consume poison and need to induce vomiting swiftly, I urge you to refer to this post. I managed to dig up a few pages from the nearly 700 pages of texts between Elizabeth “I’m 19” Holmes and Sunny “I’m in my mid-40s” Balwani while they were banging each other co-leading Theranos. Shield your eyes, Frank.

So remember, everyone. If you’re ever caught in a multi-billion dollar fraud………….Transcend! Or, that doesn’t work, just narrow down whoever is after you and nail the mother fucker. Because why would you ignore life advice from anyone named “Sunny”?