This Phrase Must Go

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One of our children was sick, so we went to a laboratory for a test last Saturday. The results were pledged to us between 1 and 3 days (which I interpret as “1 day”, but that’s just me). Anyway, more than 3 days passed, and I sent an unpleased letter to them. I got back a form letter reply from their CEO, a part of which is as follows:


The email was chock-full of tired phrases that are used far too much these days (including “That said……….”) But the one who bugged me the most, as you might guess from the tinting, was the declaration to be “transparent.”

My issues are multitudinous:

  • It rhetorically seeks permission from me, but as a written note, surely no response is expected, and if there is a response expected, surely there’s no impact, because the email is just going to go on anyway;
  • The implication is, “normally, I’d lie through my teeth, but I’d like to make an exception right now and be honest, if that’s quite all right with you, Mister Knight”
  • And he doesn’t just want to be transparent. He wants to be VERY transparent, which I suppose means I can see right through him, which used to not be a good thing at all.

Can I be very transparent with America for a moment? Let’s drop this phrase. Forever.