The Hundred Billion Dollar Man

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After a horrid start on the first trading day of the year (a $30 billion loss, I think) I’ve come ROARING back, baby (for the newer people here, this isn’t real money, but Slope’s virtual trading platform).


So now that I’ve got a twelve-figure net worth, does this mean I get to leave my wife and mother of my children and run off with some serial gold-digging skank, Jeff Bezos style?