
I Saw Mommy Touching Feeler Claus

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Back on August 31st, a professional football player named Ricky Pearsall was shot in Union Square (a high-end shopping district in San Francisco) by a 17-year-old kid who wanted to steal his Rolex watch.
Pearsall was on his way to an autograph signing event, and even though he was shot in the chest he was badass enough to actually leave the hospital the next day. The fine young lad who shot him is incarcerated and awaiting trial, facing the prospect of being tried as an adult instead of the doe-eyed, well-meaning yet confused young scamp we all know he must be.
