This was the big weekend. It was the time when everyone’s favorite couch-rapist, one Mr. J.D. Vance, was going to enjoy a prominent appearance on the world stage and just put the finishing touches on a peace deal with Iran, since they had, like, totally surrendered and stuff.
I’m not sure if you’ve heard, since Vance’s pedophilic boss mentions it at every turn, but we’ve destroyed Iran’s Navy, their Army, their radar, their communications, their Space Force, and everything else, and besides all that, there’s been like a total regime change and everything.
And, while all this was going on, I simply wanted to enjoy my meal at Lazy Bear with the wife on a very rainy Saturday night.
I was curious, naturally, how things had been going in Pakistan, a locale which for centuries has been fabled for peace deals and ventriloquism courses. Throughout Saturday, I would peek at Bitcoin and IG Weekend, and as many short positions as I had acquired on Friday, I was hoping to see some kind of bad news, which is my stock in trade.
Regrettably, Bitcoin and the IG markets just kept getting stronger, as the mere fact that both sides were talking for 21 hours made folks seem hopeful. Oh, well.
About halfway through my wine pairing, however, I sneaked another glance at my phone and saw everything had flipped and flipped hard. Bitcoin, for example, shaved off a couple thousand bucks.
Allow me to lodge a protest right here and shake my fists at the market gods. Since the ridiculous rally we had to endure last Tuesday evening was predicated on NOTHING except the fact that peace talks were going to take place, shouldn't it be that since the peace talks have INSTANTLY failed mean that not only ALL of those gains should be gone PLUS the market should be even lower since now the odds of peace seem even worse than even before Tuesday? I mean, c'mon! Bitcoin should be down $10,000 right now!
But I digress. Let’s get back to see how the markets are going……….and the very thin IG Weekend is all we’ve got, so it’ll have to do for now………
This is just a beautiful sight. I am short EVERYTHING (except crude, of course) including being aggressively short gold (as my premium post stated on Friday). Hell, I even bought SPY puts that expire on Friday, which is insanely out of character for me!
Thus, the weekend morphed from something I was going to just slog through into one in which I can’t wait for the markets to re-open. As, short as I am, at times like these I naturally wish I was 230% committed instead of half that much but cut me some slack: I’m not clinically insane.
But there’s more to this life than my equity shorts and long put positions.
We’re talking about human lives here. Tens of millions of people. War. Peace. Geopolitics. One of the most important negotiations in years.
And, during this incredibly sensitive period in which so much hangs in the balance, where was the most important and powerful man in the world?
What a fuckin’ moron. Jesus. I mean, as much as I absolutely despise this worthless sack of shit, even I am surprised that this empty-headed criminal was gazing lustily at sweating man beating the hell out of one another. Maybe it’s just another way to compensate for his vast inadequacies that torment him, to say nothing of his cocaine-addicted spawn on the right side of the photo.
You can see in the subhead that he states, “We win, regardless” (tip of the paw that he managed to use regardless instead of irregardless, since that would have sent me into a fit of pique). This declaration is, naturally, absolutely false, but it’s cute that he keeps stating it, since his simple brain has flipped a binary switch and has him absolutely convinced that Iran is a done deal and a dead duck.
If there weren’t enough cool stuff happening this weekend, we also have the election in Hungary, which Trump and Vance have thrown their full weight behind. As corrupt and gerrymandered as Hungary is, wouldn’t it be something special if Orban lost the race, which would only amplify how impotent our own inept and sinister leader is becoming? That would just be icing on the cake. We shall soon see.
In any event, I held out absolutely no hope that Vance would declare this weekend anything but a screaming success. Instead, after a mere one day of conversation, he has scurried back to D.C., and it seems completely possible to me that this week could see the war entire an entire new and far more dramatic phase.
The world is falling to pieces, and it is my intent to position myself as profitably as I possibly can, in spite of the fact that 99.999999999999% of humanity is aligned against the bears.
This all might work out beautifully after all. Bring me Wave Three.
