Let me state two things at the outset: one, I’ve never been a David Portnoy fan (for a variety of reasons), but I’m definitely on his side with this incident, and two, I’ve certainly messed up as a small (very small!) business owner myself when I’ve said or written something out of emotion. The difference for me is that I usually realize it about three seconds later and try hard to make amends and restore the peace.
Perhaps you’ve heard about this little kerfuffle…….
See, Portnoy got a pizza from a place called Dragon Pizza, and he commenced doing what he always does, which is give a review of what he thinks of the product. It’s a specialty of his. As he stood outside the restaurant, holding the giant pizza box, he seemed pretty positive at first, saying the pizza looking “fantastic” and trying out a piece. He wasn’t too crazy about it, but he made clear that the pizza had a lot of Parmesan cheese on it, and it simply wasn’t a taste he really liked.
In the midst of doing this, the owner (or at least the manager, I’m not sure) of the place came outside and instantly stated castigating Portnoy. He told him he didn’t like the kinds of things he does (reviewing pizzas) and that he should leave. Portnoy, who isn’t exactly mild-mannered, instantly got his hackles up, and in no time the two of them were making obscene gestures and swearing at each other, all while Portnoy was balancing a giant pizza box with one hand (the other was busy with the aforementioned gestures). You can see the whole clip below, if you’re sign in to YouTube and are above the restricted age limit:
Once this clip went viral, which didn’t take much since Portnoy has a huge digital footprint, Dragon Pizza got flooded with one star reviews from people who had never set foot in the place.
And, naturally, the reviews were all snarky and just played off the content of the video itself.
Now the shame of it all is how differently this all could have gone. Imagine, instead, the conversation going something like this:
Owner (walks out of pizza shop): “How’s the pizza tasting?”
Portnoy: “Not so good, dude. I’m just not a parm fan.”
Owner: “Oh, sorry to hear that. Yeah, we definitely put a lot of Parmesan on that style. Hey, could you hang out a little while while I cook up a sausage & ricotta instead? It’s our most popular one.”
Portnoy: “I dunno, man, I’ve got to go soon.”
Owner: “Just tell me where you’re heading, and I’ll get it to you. I bet you’ll love it.”
Portnoy (fist-bumping the guy): “That’s a deal. Look, I’ll just hang here.”
Owner: “OK, sit tight, I’ll get right on it.”
At that point, no matter how Portnoy felt about the initial pizza, he’d feel really good about the situation, because the pizza shop owner was making a real effort to make the customer happy. In the end, I suspect Portnoy would have liked the taste of the second pizza way better, and he would have given him a good review.
Instead, the owner made a complete ass of himself and has drawn the wrath of the masses. Remember the old saying about never picking a fight with someone who bought ink by the barrel? That also applies to those who own many barrels of digital ink. It’s the kind of mistake that can kill a business.
