I see now that no less a body than the United Nations will be considering a resolution for a worldwide ban on "blasphemy". Ummm, evidently not enough people read my post last week suggesting just the opposite – – – a coordinated, worldwide effort to deliberately be blasphemous. Receiving the papers declaring me Benevolent Dictator Of Earth is taking way longer than it should. In the meantime, you people are going to have to put up with a lot of nonsense.
Slope of Hope Blog Posts
Slope initially began as a blog, so this is where most of the website’s content resides. Here we have tens of thousands of posts dating back over a decade. These are listed in reverse chronological order. Click on any category icon below to see posts tagged with that particular subject, or click on a word in the category cloud on the right side of the screen for more specific choices.
Allah Akbar!
OK, I've just figured out the solution to the whole problem of those from the Religion of Peace rioting, burning, and killing all over the world. It's brilliant, if I may say so myself.
I was inspired by reading this article about how a French weekly paper is deliberating publishing cartoons that insult "the prophet". Reading this merged with my knowledge of Star Trek to yield the idea.
Those of you with the good sense to be acquainted with Star Trek's Original Series are probably knowledgeable of Charlie X, which is the second episode with Kirk. It is the story of a teenaged boy who has powers to change matter and the behavior of those around him, and he easily takes over the Enterprise.
The crew of the ship seems doomed, but near the end of the show, it occurs to Kirk that if they turn on every single instrument on the bridge, Charlie will be so overwhelmed that he'll lose the ability to control them. Spock and McCoy scamper about the bridge, flicking on all the machines that go beep, boing, and boop, and – as with all Kirk's plans – it works.
This, my friends, is how to deal with all this rioting. The idea is simple: for a solid week, every newspaper, magazine, billboard, and other media willing to participate put up images that are deliberately provocative to our Islamic friends. They don't have to be completely obnoxious – – I'm not sure where they draw the line, but I believe any image at all is considered offensive, so put him on a bicycle, a trampoline – – you name it. One solid week. All over the world.
See, the problem with the current situation is that ONE publication does something "offensive", and then they target the poor bastards at that place. With a coordinated effort, the level-headed people of the planet can provide a united middle finger to all this rioting nonsense.
I see some of you are calling this insensitive. Excuse me for a moment while I consider that point.
Hmmm.
OK, I'm done. My response: they abdicated their right to being treated with velvet gloves by torching everything in sight. I would also add the following: how about you folks grow a pair of nuts and not worry so much about sensitivity to a very specific group?
I don't demand sensitivity. I'm a good suburban Christian, and if the Islamic world decided to put up billboards all over the planet with pictures of Jesus pracing around in a tutu or making out with Buddha, I couldn't care less. I'd probably think it's funny. As I've said before, the higher power I believe in really doesn't give a flying crap. He's not that neurotic. So Jesus told me to tell you to tickle his nut sack and get a life.
Anyway, that's my idea. It'll never happen, and anyway, I've got to go into hiding now. Genius is rarely understood in its own time.
An Apple Trade for the iPhone 5
It looks like Apple is getting ready to announce the iPhone 5 and perhaps the mini-ipad on Wednesday (9/12/12). Once a year since 2007 Apple has dazzled the crowd with a "newish" phone and it is that time to do it again. So as traders where does that leave us?
Let’s take a quick look at the past announcements:
iPhone (Jan 9, 2007) Opened at 86.45 and in a couple of days ran to 97.8
iPhone 3G (June 9, 2008) Opened at 184.93 and in a couple of days dropped to 165.31
iPhone 3Gs (June 8, 2009) Opened at 143.82 and in a couple of days dropped to 134.89
iPhone 4 (June 7, 2010) Opened at 258.29 and in a couple of days dropped to 242.49
iPhone 4s (Oct 4, 2011) Opened at 374.57 and in a couple of days ran to 426.70
iPhone 5 (Sept. 12, 2012)
Just Because We All Need a Change of Subject
Charlie Watts: Honorary Sloper
I confess that I've never been much of a Rolling Stones fan. While I respect their longevity, it seems to me that they're the sort of band that has a couple of great songs on any given album, and that's about it. My main interest in them during my youth was the huge-gazonga'd lass in She Was Hot - – – and Undercover of the Night pretty much marks the peak of the glory days of MTV music videos (remember those?)
In spite of my disinterest, I've always been intrigued by the sleepy-eyed drummer Charlie Watts. He seemed somewhat out-of-place and had a detached and bemused disposition that I thought was cool. Only recently did I learn some things about him that I thought were really interesting.
First off, he's a family man, and in spite of decades of Stones groupies, he has been a solid husband:
On 14 October 1964, Watts married Shirley Ann Shepherd, whom he had met
before the band became successful. Still married after 47 years, they share one daughter, Seraphina Watts, born on 18 March 1968. Watts also has a granddaughter, Charlotte.
Watts' personal life has outwardly appeared to be substantially quieter than those of his bandmates and many of his rock and roll colleagues; onstage, he seems to furnish a calm and bemused counterpoint to his flamboyant bandmates. Ever faithful to his wife Shirley, Watts consistently refused sexual favours from groupies on the road; in Robert Greenfield's STP: A Journey through America with The Rolling Stones, a document of the 1972 American Tour, it is noted that when the group was invited to the Playboy Mansion during that tour, Watts took advantage of Hugh Hefner's game room rather than frolic with the women.
He also has a really cool OCD-like habit:
Watts has expressed a love-hate attitude toward touring. In Canada's Macleans magazine, he told interviewer Brian Johnson that he has had a compulsive habit for decades of actually sketching every new hotel room he occupies – and its furnishings – immediately upon entering it. He stated he keeps every sketch, but still doesn't know why he feels the compulsion to do this.
He has successfully battled personal demons:
Watts has spoken openly about a period in the mid-1980s when his previously-moderate use of alcohol and drugs became problematic: "[My drug and alcohol problems were] my way of dealing with [family problems]… Looking back on it, I think it was a mid-life crisis. All I know is that I became totally another person around 1983 and came out of it about 1986. I nearly lost my wife and everything over my behaviour."
And he doesn't take crap from anyone:
A famous anecdote relates that during the mid-1980s, an intoxicated Jagger phoned Watts' hotel room in the middle of the night asking "Where's my drummer?". Watts reportedly got up, shaved, dressed in a suit, put on a tie and freshly shined shoes, descended the stairs, and punched Jagger in the face, saying: "Don't ever call me your drummer again. You're my fucking singer!"
He even kicked cancer's ass!
In June 2004, Watts was diagnosed with throat cancer, despite having quit smoking in the late 1980s, and underwent a course of radiotherapy. The cancer has since gone into remission and he returned to recording and touring with the Rolling Stones.
So here's to you, Charlie Watts. You've completely smoked Mick and Keith in the areas where it really counts.
