Allah Akbar!

By -

OK, I've just figured out the solution to the whole problem of those from the Religion of Peace rioting, burning, and killing all over the world. It's brilliant, if I may say so myself.

I was inspired by reading this article about how a French weekly paper is deliberating publishing cartoons that insult "the prophet". Reading this merged with my knowledge of Star Trek to yield the idea.

0919-charliexThose of you with the good sense to be acquainted with Star Trek's Original Series are probably knowledgeable of Charlie X, which is the second episode with Kirk. It is the story of a teenaged boy who has powers to change matter and the behavior of those around him, and he easily takes over the Enterprise.

The crew of the ship seems doomed, but near the end of the show, it occurs to Kirk that if they turn on every single instrument on the bridge, Charlie will be so overwhelmed that he'll lose the ability to control them. Spock and McCoy scamper about the bridge, flicking on all the machines that go beep, boing, and boop, and – as with all Kirk's plans – it works.

This, my friends, is how to deal with all this rioting. The idea is simple: for a solid week, every newspaper, magazine, billboard, and other media willing to participate put up images that are deliberately provocative to our Islamic friends. They don't have to be completely obnoxious – – I'm not sure where they draw the line, but I believe any image at all is considered offensive, so put him on a bicycle, a trampoline – – you name it. One solid week. All over the world.

See, the problem with the current situation is that ONE publication does something "offensive", and then they target the poor bastards at that place. With a coordinated effort, the level-headed people of the planet can provide a united middle finger to all this rioting nonsense.

I see some of you are calling this insensitive. Excuse me for a moment while I consider that point.

Hmmm.

OK, I'm done. My response: they abdicated their right to being treated with velvet gloves by torching everything in sight. I would also add the following: how about you folks grow a pair of nuts and not worry so much about sensitivity to a very specific group?

I don't demand sensitivity. I'm a good suburban Christian, and if the Islamic world decided to put up billboards all over the planet with pictures of Jesus pracing around in a tutu or making out with Buddha, I couldn't care less. I'd probably think it's funny. As I've said before, the higher power I believe in really doesn't give a flying crap. He's not that neurotic. So Jesus told me to tell you to tickle his nut sack and get a life.

Anyway, that's my idea. It'll never happen, and anyway, I've got to go into hiding now. Genius is rarely understood in its own time.