For reasons I won’t bother going into, I found myself in the Merchandising Department of the Cypress Lawn funeral home. I’ve always found the business of selling stuff for dead people (particularly really, really overpriced stuff) to be tacky, to put it gently, but it’s a thriving, multi-billion dollar industry.
As I was looking around, I noticed a kind of cheesy doll’s house on the floor near all the coffins. I assumed it must be to keep young children entertained while their parents browsed the various corpse crates. It was a pretty lame little dollhouse, flimsy and made of paper, but I figured it was better than nothing.
As I glanced up, though, I noticed a “Burning Bundle”, which apparently is a collection of paper stuff intended, I suppose, to throw into a coffin with a person. Since it’s “burning”, I further assume it is meant for those slated for cremation, and these material goods somehow will find their way to accompany the person to The Other Side, so they can enjoy a McMansion, a flat screen television, and other goodies in the hereafter.
As with everything else, the product was horrendously overpriced. I am certain that all these paper goods together probably cost about $10, tops, to manufacture (probably more like $4), including the somewhat disturbing “Hell Money” that you get (apparently debit cards don’t work in the afterlife):
And the television’s broadcast content strongly suggests the Burning Bundle is targeted to the Asian market. Check out the remote!
Dealing with this insane “market” day to day is hell enough for me, thank you very much. I found these curious curios to be a welcome respite, in a gallows humor sort of way, from my normal trading day.
