50 Reasons to Gasp

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Ya know, since I majored in marketing in college (embarrassing, yes, but true) you would think I’d be better at it, but I stink. Maybe it’s because I’m lazy. Perhaps I just don’t have a knack for the common touch. It’s high time I stepped up my marketing game, though.

How about all those stupid click-bait headlines we see every blessed day? Let me try a few out on you:

  • This One Weird Chart has Chiropractors Baffled
  • You Won’t Believe These 9 Hottest IPO Balance Sheets!
  • 12 Breakout Patterns That Mean Big Profits
  • Dancing With the Stars Celeb Shares Her Favorite Biotech Picks
  • Irresistible Puppies Pick Their Fave Saucer Patterns!
  • Try Not to Gasp When You See This A/D Summation Index

Meh. It’s not working. Plus I feel gross now.

Anyway, back to my boring, ineffective self.

For a variety of reasons, I’m a Tesla-head, and their (much smaller) competitor Nikola is considered something of a joke (try not to gasp). A couple of days ago, there was quite a bit of hoo-ha, because General Motors (a company that plunged into bankruptcy in 2008 and should have stayed there) announced a big stake in NKLA, which caused their stock to soar over 50%.

Merely two days later, every penny of those gains was laid waste. As I like to say, if you suck, you’re going to suck all day. Actually, I’ve never said that. But I’m still grasping for something appealing to the masses. Or gasping. Or something to do with 50 puppies.