We are interested in markets here on Slope, and lately there has been an explosion lately in what are essentially legalizing gambling sites known as prediction markets. The largest is Polymarket, where you can be on just about anything imaginable, including this unlike scenario:
Thus, folks are putting their money forward and declaring that sometime in the next ten months, Jesus is going to show up again. I’m not sure if Polymarket lays down the parameters of how that would be validated, but there you have it: real people, real bets.
Of course, these days, in spite of the endless, endless, endless screeching about doing everything in the world for Israel and the Jews (to not commit 100% would be anti-you-already-know-what), this administration declares itself stridently Christian (Epstein friend Howard Lutnick notwithstanding). So much so that the White House has a Faith Leader named Paula White. Here she is being seated by the President checks out her Christian ass.
Ms. White seems to have plenty in common with Trump, including the fact that she’s on her third marriage, just like her boss. She also is a stern believe that the law is the law (for others, at least).
Speaking of the aforementioned Christ, for example, she stated, “Yes, he did live in Egypt for three-and-a-half years. But it was not illegal. If he had broken the law, then he would have been sinful and he would not have been our Messiah.”
Using simple logic, we can conclude from this statement that the laws of man are infallible and thus running afoul of any such laws makes you a sinner. Considering the fact I’ve acquired a few parking tickets over the years, I suppose I’m bound for damnation.
Here’s this lunatic in action, for those interested:
It’s a fascinating thought experiment, however, to consider what would happen if in fact Jesus did pop back onto our planet in human form. There are many among us who have claimed to be the Messiah, naturally, so he’d have to prove himself with multiple miracles.
I cannot predict what heavenly father might conjure up to show us he’s the real deal, but some possibilities include:
- Parting the waters of the Potomac;
- Speaking through a burning bush;
- Compelling Gonnabesick to sign up for a paid membership
Assuming Jesus’ teachings haven’t changed since the last time he was here, he would remind us, since we didn’t seem to get it the first time, to:
- Love our neighbors as we love ourselves;
- Feed the hungry;
- Tend to the sick;
- Do not steal;
- Do not kill;
- House the homeless;
- Welcome the stranger
All of course flies in the face of everything this self-declared Christian leadership actually does. In point of fact, I daresay Trump would hold the new role of Caesar whereas that hayseed bumpkin Markwayne would be in Pontius Pilate and see to it that the man was hammered onto a cross, or the equivalent effect thereto.
The allegory fits perfectly, right down to what J.C. would say in response to all this wanton cruelty.
Never has one sentence summed up so succinctly the world we live in today.
Personally, I don’t think the man is ever coming back – – he’s already done what he needed to do – – but if I’m wrong and he does show back up, I fully expect him to declare SlopeCharts to be the truth, the light, and the way, at least when it comes to historical data analysis.
