As a good suburban Protestant, I have never been inside a confession booth before, but I’m going to make one here in front of all of you, because I have been burdened by guilt and must pay public penance for my sins. It has to do with these two, whom I adore deeply as most of you know.
Now don’t worry: Mishka and Duke are just fine, but they might not have been due to my own recklessness and irresponsibility. This whole tale may seem stupid to you, but I need to get this off my chest and expose my shortcoming in public to help absolve myself. I deserve the humiliation.
You will note the orange harness of Duke. It fits him well. Mishka likewise has a well-fitting harness, shown above in blue. Before Duke’s dog class on Sunday, I decided Mishka was getting too tight in her harness, growing up as she is, so I dug through our box and found a teal harness (same model as Duke’s) and tightened it to the maximum level so that it would fit her.
The main reason for switching harnesses was because her blue one lacks a front-facing loop, and you dog folks out there probably know that dogs are easier to walk if you click the leash onto the front instead of the back. So, I clicked the leashes on them both and walked them up and down our street to make sure she did all right, and it seemed OK.
The error on my part was that, because the harness was still too large for her, she could still manage to slip out of it if she tried to “back out”. I probably knew this deep down, but I figured our little walk had gone all right, and she seemed satisfied with it, so I decided to leave well enough alone. We all got into the car and headed to the dog class, which is in a different town.
Once we got there, we all got out of the car. I had Duke, my wife had Mishka. I will add here this is on a fairly busy street, and the small parking lot isn’t far from cars whizzing by. You know where this is going already.
Within moments, Mishka backed out of her harness, and she was absolutely naked and loose. I immediately dropped Duke’s leash, jumped onto the pavement to grab Mishka, and shrieked out, “Grab Duke!!!!!”, as my wife snapped up his leash. They were both OK.
Jesus Christ, it was an awful and wonderful feeling at exactly the same moment.
My heart was racing about 500 beats a minute at this point. I did not, nor have I, considered what might have happened next, but it has been tormenting me ever since. I take my responsibilities in life – – to you, to my wife, to my children, and (maybe most of all!!) to my dogs with tremendous gravity. The fact that I was slipshod with such basic safety measures was reckless beyond imagination, and I have said a few hundred prayers of thanks since then.
Mishka and Duke are probably puzzled that I’m being so extra-nice and loving to them lately, but I just feel so deeply grateful that they are okay. What an idiot I am.
I will say this: it sure as hell put things in perspective. When I saw the markets raging higher this morning, guaranteeing a horrible loss in profits the moment the opening bell rang, I couldn’t have given a single crap. Frankly, that these terrible feelings of remorse and self-flagellation completely altered my frame of mind for what happened. I am absolutely furious with myself for being careless, and I am so grateful that, as so many other times in my life, I’ve been given a second chance.
Thanks for reading my story, and know in your heart that I truly suck but am trying to be better.
