Kathy Nixed the Video

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For years, I have had a fantasy about creating a video based on the famous milkshake scene from There Will Be Blood. In case you are unfortunate enough not to be familiar with it, here it is:

My idea was to do a really good job with this, recast with me as Daniel Plainview and a Janet Yellen lookalike as Eli Sunday. In the end, of course, I would bash her skull in with a bowling pin. (I was waiting for a severe market downturn to film this, which explains why it hasn’t happened yet). I had the whole script adapted for my purposes (e.g. “Let’s say you have a stock chart. And I have a stock chart. And I have a trendline. And my trendline stretches allllllll the way across this room……...”)

Having witnessed what happened recently with one Ms. Griffin, who took a chance with something daring to express a strong feeling, I’ve decided there’s no holy way in hell I’d dare do something which could make me look like – – well – – Kathy Griffin. So, thanks, Kathy. It would have been a complicated, expensive shoot, and in the end, I think I would have really regretted it.