Well, one of the year’s eight Fed announcements just tumbled out, and although there is obviously no change in interest rates (those days are long gone, and will be very long to return) the projection as to WHEN interest rates MIGHT go up in the future (they won’t) is “news”:

These days, the whole task is to look for any new semi-colons or altered definite articles to divine what the all-powerful Fed is thinking:

It’s kind of pointless to gauge the first reaction to these things, although watching the seismic rumbles is mildly amusing. Gold is, as I’m typing this, getting pummeled again:

And Bitcoin initially shot up but did a quick 180 degree turn:

In the few minutes I’ve been typing this, equities went from gaining ground to tumbling again. The press conference is the next big event. Hang on to your hats!