Ahoy there from seven miles above California. I am winging my way back to my cherished Palo Alto, having enjoyed another weekend of fencing tournaments in which my beloved children did very well, thank you very much.
As you know, I am terrifically excited about the first debate on Monday night. My dear son and I have been practically counting the hours. Some people puzzle over why I would “waste my time” on such a thing. I assure you, I have the exact same feelings about every spectator sport known to man.
The countless millions of hours and billions of dollars that get sunk into baseball, football, soccer, basketball, and all the rest of it has never made sense to me. As for fencing, which is also a sport, I would say two things: (a) my family members are active participants (b) God knows it isn’t a spectator sport. I still don’t know what’s going on.
But I digress. i was talking about these two characters:
In case you missed it the first 398 times, I think both of the above stink. On the left is a megalomaniac who would HATE THE JOB of being President, so I don’t know what the hell he’s thinking. I think he wants to WIN THE PRESIDENCY, and walk up Pennsylvania Avenue, but after the coronation………it’s a JOB.
As for President Pantsuit, I think she’s rotten to the core and represents everything that’s wrong with the Goldman Sachs-ization of America. The fact she lacks a dick shouldn’t be a compelling reason to vote for her. She sucks more than Lewinsky ever did.
All the same, I want to see Trump trash her left, right, and sideways. Why? Because she’s a woman? No, you dippy thing, that’s not the reason. I’ve always been drawn to strong women (believe me, I married the strongest), and even as a youngster I thought the likes of Margaret Thatcher and Grace Hopper (look her up) kicked butt.
The reason is that I always am a fan of the underdog, and when it comes to this race, Trump is the underdog. Clinton has every media outlet falling all over her to support her, praise her, and offer up any apologia for her sins. She also has the most vile and corrupt unions (like the American Federation of Teachers, which is absolutely reprehensible) utterly aligned with her.
Now, I realize Trump appeals to the Duck Dynasty crowd, and all other manner of dipshits in this once-great land of ours. I think he would be a dreadful President and genuinely hazardous to our personal safety. But the short-sighted selfish part of me wants to see him win – – or at least look goddamned sure that he’s going to – – just to send the world, and the financial markets, into complete panic.
In fact, typing this out right now, maybe that’s the best outcome. Have Trump smoke her in the debates (for entertainment value), ascend the polls, look like a sure thing, trash the financial markets – – – and then have her actually win (before which, God willing, I’ll have covered). The sad part, of course, is that we’ll have to endure a person I guarantee you will be The Most Hated President In History Right From Day One, but in 2020 this idiotic country will have learned its lesson and bring in someone relatively virtuous.
Anyway, I can’t wait for the debate. I’ve already got multiple airhorn apps ready.
Oh, and in closing, in spite of my hatred of sports, I just saw Arnold Palmer died. I’m sad for this, because clearly he was an important part of Americana. I rise a glass of his eponymous beverage in his memory. Rest in peace, Mr. Palmer.
