Over the course of last week, something like 800 million shares of the otherwise-worthless Gamestop (GME, duh) traded thanks to the carnival barker Keith Gill (AKA RoaringKitty AKA DeepFuckingValue AKA DroppedOnHisHeadAsABaby). Nothing sums up the entire situation quite like this:
For reasons unknown, I decided to listen on Friday to his midday live webcast. He was supposed to show up at noon EST, but maybe he was out getting stoned behind the garage or something. He eventually deigned to show up at 12:25 EST, which kicked off a couple of minutes of stupid memes and a long-ass disclaimer, since deep down he probably knows he’s going to be neck-deep in legal trouble a year from now and wants to minimize criminal proceedings.
To be clear, I’ve got no dog in this fight. I’ve never traded GME. Whether it goes bankrupt or is worth twenty trillion dollars makes no difference to me. I do, however, get irked by dumb people, and this guy attracts them by the millions, and I’m also no fan of people who actually benefit from dumb people, and by the transitive property, this guy also fits the bill.
Anyway, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but considering the guy has somehow amassed a half billion-dollar position in GME, my assumption was that he was going to present (promptly at noon) an articulate, well-reasoned, and compelling presentation deck about the tremendous value that lay hidden within GME. Instead, we got……………..this:
Basically, a guy mugging for the camera and featuring – – of all things – – a free Yahoo Finance page, which I suppose is as deep as his analysis goes. (His half billion-dollar position, by the way, is, implausibly, at E*Trade………….why not Robinhood, huh?) Anyway, I’m not sure if the guy had just smoked five bowls of hashish, but he just sat there chuckling, guffawing, and interjecting endless disclaimers along the lines of:
- You need to be able to change your mind;
- Don’t follow me just because I’m doing this;
- I don’t know anything you don’t know;
- The management at GME seems pretty smart;
- I’m sure the management must have figured something good out, right?
And on it went. The guy struck me – – and I want to carefully choose my words here, since we live in the age of cancellation and political correctness – – as a total retard.
Once it was apparently that Keith had absolutely nothing of value to say, the stock began to lose even more value. It had overnight, reached almost $70, but as you can see below, it was rapidly approaching a mere one-third of the price it had enjoyed only hours before.
The big “reveal” was his position page. Every human on the planet was spewing on and on Thursday night about how this guy would be a billionaire, and instead, during the webcast, he was showing about a quarter billion-dollar LOSS. Honest to God, people, if you told me this guy was bankrupt next year, I would not be at ALL surprised.
Thus, from the excitement of Monday morning, to the close of Friday night, the net change of GME was, after tens of billions of dollars had changed hands………………precisely DICK.
I’ll let myself have the last word on this farce, which I tweeted during his show.
