Wow, what a day! Someone was pounding on my door like crazy this morning, I opened it up and Ted was standing there with Brew at his side. Brew was holding this huge hammer and Ted looked really pissed, his meth eyes were bulging out as he started yelling at me for stealing his van. Ted grabbed me by the shirt threatening to kick my ass, and my mind began the process of taking me to my "happy place" where I can black out until the ass kicking is over. My mind drifted off to the thoughts of gnomes living in the forest with naked Avatar chicks flying around greeting me, when all of a sudden a fist flew past my ear and punched Ted right in the nose knocking him out cold and bringing me back to reality.
"Who the hell is this cuz?" the Colonel asked. "The enemy," I said as is I gave him a swift cheap shot kick to the head.
Brew was pretty cool about the whole thing; he even helped us drag Ted inside. Right now Brew's telling the colonel about trying to score with my grandma; that sort of sucks, but they seem to be getting along alright. We are all trying to figure out what to do next. If Ted wakes up soon, the shit will hit the fan. We have to get him out of here quick, or there will be hell to pay. I haven't seen Ted since he was in the hospital with mercury poisoning.
I wonder if the Colonel has an old mercury thermometer laying around which I could break and pour down his mouth, then drop him off at a nearby hospital. Or maybe I should go talk to my neighbor Dr. Ramon? I bet he's really good in these situations.
