May the 4th Be With You

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If I was as good a trader as I am a chartist, I’d be extraordinarily rich.

Luckily for you, you get my charts and not my trading. So you still have a chance!

Let’s back up a bit. When I called it a day yesterday, the bulls got just the kind of Federal fellatio that they received at the last FOMC fest, which was on May 4th. If you’ll recall, that disgusting pig Jerome Powell stood at the podium and lied, prevaricated, and deceived, all to good effect. Equities absolutely exploded. Just like yesterday.

I’d like to share this chart of what happened immediately FOLLOWING May the 4th:

In other words, that swine Powell managed to trick people into buying equities (to help out his billionaire buddies), and the shithead managed to trick the public for precisely one day. Then thing fell all to pieces again.

Well, Pencil Dick was at it again yesterday. Indeed, I sent this truthful tweet yesterday which kind summed of my feelings:

And speaking of tweets, since Cramer had an extraordinarily rare break yesterday, he decided to do this victory lap:

Well, you know where this is all going. The market, it turns out, peaked yesterday during the normal trading session. It has been a waterfall all night long – TO NEW LOWS FOR THE YEAR, AND NEW LOWS FOR THIS GLORIOUS BEAR MARKET.

I’ve tried……….I’ve really tried…………to warn people. But I’m still exceptionally unpopular, being a bear and all, and people refuse to listen to me. For instance, I have been insistent that ENERGY is completely screwed, and this is the kind of patronizing back-handed slap I get:

I’ll just mention, since you’re here, that crude oil in fact DID fail precisely the line I told people about, which makes my high concentration of energy shorts well-positioned.

And, thus, has crude slip-sliding away.

I’ve taken a look at the one guy I follow (not Attila, someone else) who was INSISTENT we were heading to 4100. I want to mention I respect the guy, and he seems really good. Anyway, in light of what’s happened, he’s simply declaring this a BEAR TRAP and that 4100 is still coming. Maybe. I’m still nervous.

So………..

What I’ve Done Right

  • Got the hell out of my bullish hedge yesterday;
  • Stayed with what I considered to be the best 25 of my bearish positions
  • Stuck with my thesis, in spite of being the ONLY bearish person left on the entire planet and setting myself up for more mockery and digital flagellation

What I’ve Done Wrong

  • Allowed fear to keep me in 40% cash (ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
  • Went to 100% cash in my personal portfolio (DOUBLE ARGHHHHHHH)

I still respect the bthat this is some kind of medium-term flush-out, but I’ll leave you with one last thought: ETHEREUM. Yeah, I’m still harping on this. CRYPTO COUNTS.

This whole “bounce to 4100″ is going to get shot directly between the eyes if Bitcoin fails $20,000 and Ethereum fails $1,000. God forgive me, but I came THIS close to buying a bunch of $BTC yesterday since it looked like a hammer candlestick bottom. Crypto, however, has withered away BUT bTO NEW LOWS all through the night:

In conclusion:

  • This year, I’ve never charted better in my life. As Bruno might say, you’re lucky to even know me;
  • My trading has been as beautiful and consistently captivating as Rebekah Neuman when she first wakes up in the morning.