Months ago, I laboriously (VERY laboriously) did the voice work for my novel, Solid State. I’ve never been so weary of my own voice in my entire life, but it was an act of love (and, by God, I did it for TNRevolution, since he said he wanted to read the book but only if he could listen to it). Thus, I worked a very long time on putting it together, including the not-at-all easy submission process with Audible.com, also known as ACX.
Once the digital files had at long last been approved (which took months!) I thought I’d just wait for the final OK so it could start getting distributed. However, I got this email from out of the blue (as always, click on any image for a bigger, more readable version).
Proof of chain of title? Huh?
See, I’ve been creating content my entire life. I’ve written literally dozens of published books. I’ve done 35,000 posts here. I’ve done a screenplay. I’m no stranger to creating original content. However, this was the first time I was asked to prove that what I had created was actually owned by me.
In a way, it’s a bit like trying to prove a negative. (i.e., “We believe you killed this woman. Prove you didn’t do it!“) But I wanted to be a good sport (and, umm, not getting “terminated” as the above email kindly warned), so I promptly wrote back:
What ensued next was comic. Day to day, we would exchange emails back and forth, in this weird guessing game. These aren’t all the emails, but you’ll definitely get a taste…………..
At this point, I have come VERY close to suggesting to them engaging in a physically-impossible task, but I held back, since I’d like to actually get this done.
Honestly, though, I’m surprised this is an actual business. They’re acting like government bureaucrats of the worst kind, and I honestly think the poor bastards at these jobs get off on this going-round-and-round schtick, since it gives them something to do and makes them feel they have a little power in what is surely an otherwise impotent life. It’s just a shame that I have to be at the other end of this joke.
