Oh Boy. Detroit.

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I have been seeing a lot of ads for the Cadillac ELR, which is Detroit’s answer to my beloved Tesla Model S. My Tesla can go about 265 miles on a single charge, and it’s purely electric. The Cadillac is a hybrid, and it can go a whopping 30 miles on a full charge. Worse yet, it features the same dry-heave-inducing design for which American cars have so long been know. The sad part is that they didn’t have a 7th grader do this design; it’s put together by a large team of very well-paid professionals. Make sure a bucket is handy and have a look:

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They want $80,000 for this monstrosity, by the way.

When it comes to cars, I have the same common man’s attitude as I do to art: I don’t know much about it, but I know what I like when I see it. The Model S is a fine car – the best I’ve ever had – although I’m decidedly feeling Much Less Special since I see literally about ten others when I drive around town (the Bay Area Peninsula is pretty much the center of Tesla S ownership). If I tumble into some money, I’ve already picked out my next vehicle. The ungodly gorgeous BMW i8. Now THIS, my friends, is what I call good design. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to disrobe and spend some time with the car shown below. Please avert your gaze.

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