Jessica ALBa

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Here we have Ms. Alba, whose pulchritude clearly disqualifies her from having anything at all to do with the Oscars, since clearly a very different standard is required these days.

But that’s not why we’re here. Instead, this post is to celebrate symbol ALB whose puts that I own are having a splendid day.

slopechart ALB

With 120 days left on these puts, yeah, I think I’ll just hang on for even more obscene gains.

slopechart ALB