On July 27, 2023, I was absolutely miserable. I had plenty of troubles going on in life, and the market had soared to yet another high. My portfolio was a wreck. Bulls were dancing in the streets. People were cancelling their subscriptions, which I bust my ass to acquire. I felt like shit. And then, just to add salt to the wound, THIS email tumbled into my inbox:
In case you can’t read this, it’s an email I get whenever someone cancels. I ask every person who cancels why they cancelled. In 100% of the prior cases, it was some version of “It’s not you, it’s me”, but in this case, here’s what the guy wrote……………and this is verbatim:
At ninty years old I am retiring from the stock market after making a multy million dollar fortune by being long oil. How could you be so wrong for so long?
Now, since the poor ass is apparently barely literate, I shall offer his same obnoxious missive with the spelling and punctuation any second grade child would be capable of offering:
At ninety years old, I am retiring from the stock market, having made a multi-million dollar fortune by being long oil. How could you be so wrong for so long? By the way, I’m an asshole.
Now, this was seriously the last thing I needed to hear. I am sensitive by default, I take cancellations EXTREMELY personally, and having done this for over 18 years, I had received ZERO, and I mean ZERO, instances in the past of anyone saying anything unkind like this.
Yet this fucking prick shows up to make me feel even worse. Between you and me, there seem to be two possibilities:
- He is, in fact, a 90 year old man who, even having lived so long, hasn’t acquired enough wisdom and learned knowledge to be kind and decent to others, or, far more likely…………
- He is a complete dickhead troll who for some reason had to pretend he was a 90 year old man, for reasons I truly cannot divine, and that somehow he had made himself rich.
In any event, this singular occurrence should have told me one thing and one thing only: that it had to be the absolute top of the market. Instead, in the vulnerable state I was in, I could not accept it as such. And yet:
I’m quite resourceful, so I can normally ascertain a person’s residence, phone number, and information about all their relatives in about sixty seconds. This chap doesn’t appear to exist anywhere, so that was a dead end.
In any case, here’s hoping he dies alone and afraid. I’m serious. Historically, people who turn hard against me have met untimely fates, and I don’t have to lift a finger. Lord knows they’ve earned it.
I simply don’t deserve such treatment, and I wish I had the self-awareness to have taken the signal for what it was: The absolute top tick form the absolute worst prick.
