Gartman: the final fade

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I was intrigued – – but not the least bit surprised – – to see this headline:


While Dennis claims that he’s throwing in the towel in order to work on his golf game, I strongly suspect the true reason is that these markets have become untradeable, except for the buy-AAPL-and-hold-forever technique, funded wholly by the Fed (thus, in turn, by the taxpayers of the year 2382).

Dennis has provided many a laugh and tear over the years here on Slope. Here are a few articles from the archives:

  • Interview Like Gartman – a detailed, six-part guide to conducting an interview in exactly the same manner as Dennis. Specific suggestions focus on deflecting questions about recent bad calls and being vague enough to be non-measurable.
  • 2016 Year in Review – in which I actually put together this spreadsheet of every single call declared on CNBC and examine the results. I believe the success rate with equities was less than 23%.
  • Gartman! The Musical! – a personal favorite, this is a fantasy pieces about a two-act musical featuring such hits as “Marry Me, Melissa Lee” and “Flip Flop Fever”
  • Just How Dead Can Gartman Get? – perhaps Dennis’ most famous call, in which he declares crude oil will never be above $44 again in his lifetime.
  • Gartmanned Again – anecdotal evidence illustrating how, within a span of hours, Gartman declared himself bullish (sending worldwide markets into a frantic tailspin) and then reversing course and encouraging people to embrace the bear market (halting the plunge within milliseconds and causing a rally).
  • The Gartman Grid – a straightforward, easy-to-use 2 by 2 grid providing you a means to assess forthcoming market conditions based on Dennis’ neck-wear choice.
  • Gartman Goes Full Weasel – an annoyed piece breaking down just how mealy-mouthed Dennis’ predictions are, shielding them from any kind of genuine analysis or scrutiny.
  • One Day, One Day – my most recent bit, decrying the fact that I fail to use the Gartman signal to its full effect.

I can’t help but think Gartman’s departure from the financial commentary scene marks some kind of watershed moment in worldwide markets. I strongly suspect we’ll look back on this announcement, even just a few months from now, and understand its true significance.