Goobers

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This morning, by way of a two hour plane ride, I traveled from the least-populated state in the U.S. (Wyoming) to the most populated (California). Waiting for me in my mailbox was yet another item from the Secretary of State in the $300 million boondoggle known as the……….

Now, whether you live here or not, you are probably acquainted with the most famous person who is seeking to replace Gavin Newsom, who is a person who has been famous since the 1970s and, more recently, gained worldwide notoriety for paying to have his dick chopped off. I present to you one of the most mainstream candidates from this circus:

Let me be clear: there are something like sixty to seventy people on the ballot, and judging from the profiles of these people, it seems that anyone of voting age could toss their hat into the ring. It seems only about half of that mass of candidates took the time or trouble to fill in a form to be included with their Mission Statements for this election, and honestly, the drug addict below is actually one of the most mainstream and appealing contenders.

A bunch of these people seem to be treating the entire exercise like some kind of inside joke. Ms. Baade, for instance, offers as her only reason to garner your vote the fact she can italicize well-chosen adjectives. This is, I kid you not, her entire statement as a candidate.

Quite a few of the “statements” take this taciturn approach, although some might be perceived as advice for how to spend your free time.

Oh, and then there’s “Angelyne”……..

She has “No Party Preference”, which probably comes as a relief to Democrats and Republicans alike, and declares herself an ‘icon”. I’d be curious to know what evidence she has to back her claim of being an experienced politician, however.

It looks like Slim just paid a visit with the aforementioned candidate, judging from his grin.

Remember, people, this is $300 million in taxpayer dollars going to this. Tens of millions of these Profiles books were printed and mailed out with crap like this:

And, in case you are not convinced how low the bar is on this race, I present to you another candidate who looks like he’s about nineteen years old and whose credentials are that he went to a community college and took some PoliSci classes. This reads more like a Tinder profile than a statement for leading a state whose population is greater than that of many countries.

And, in case anyone was too depressed from reading the other profiles, we have this:

That’s it. Play me out, Angelyne………