Operation Dicksave

By -

You are probably as concerned as I am about John McAfee‘s junk. Mr. McAfee, once a respected businessman in my beloved Silicon Valley, saw his $100 million fortune dwindle to a tiny fraction of that following the financial crisis. Since then, he seems to have staked the rebuilding of his fortune on the soaring value of cryptocurrencies.

Famously, he has pledged to – – and I am not making this up – – eat his own dick if $BTC isn’t at least a million dollars per coin by the end of 2020. Not just eat it privately, like most of us would, but on “national television” (whatever THAT means). The end of 2020 seems like a million years from now (particularly if you’re waiting for the next Presidential election), but it’s only about a thousand days away.

I thought I’d actually calculate what bitcoin would need to do in order for John McAfee’s wanger to be saved (which I’m sure is large and lovely, even for a 72 year old man). Well, I’ve got the value for you: about half a percent a day, every day, without fail, for the next 1000 days.

That may seem a modest goal. After all, this is Bitcoin we’re talking about here. But keep in mind this is based on gains every single day, without interruption. And, if recent history is any guide, it isn’t exactly blazing its way to dick glory lately (I’ve put an arrow at the point where McAfee made his pledge; not surprisingly, it seemed unstoppable at the time).


The “half per cent a day every day” chart looks markedly different:


Also in the news lately is the fact that the cost of mining a bitcoin is about $8000 which, surprise surprise, is almost exactly its current value. So it would seem that market forces, God bless ’em, having found an equilibrium, and I don’t think the world would be compelled to push $BTC up to a million dollars just because of ol’ John’s johnson. Indeed, I suspect the image on “national television” at the end of 2020 would probably resemble something closer to this:

Oh, and speaking of dicks and cryptocurrency, congrats to Mr. Altucher for landing his latest girlfriend. Well done, sir!


I mean, I assume it’s because of his success with cryptos. Maybe I’m wrong.