Fetterman For the Win

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Earlier today, I had never heard the name John Fetterman. I wouldn’t have recognized who he was if I saw a picture. But in recent days this relatively obscure Lt. Gov. of Pennsylvania has been pushed into the international spotlight. (His official photo, left, reminded me instantly of Carl from Sling Blade):


Mr. Fetterman is, from everything I’ve read, pretty much the coolest dude on the face of the planet. Here are some interesting facts about his life that I plucked from Wikipedia:

+ He grew up fairly poor. He was in the midst of his college education when his friend died in a car accident on his way to drive Fetterman from the gym.

+ The death of his friend shook him to the core. Following his friend’s death, Fetterman joined Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, pairing with an eight-year-old boy in New Haven, Connecticut, whose father had died from AIDS, and whose mother was battling the disease.

+ During his time as a Big Brother, Fetterman says he became “preoccupied with the concept of the random lottery of birth,” and promised the boy’s mother he would continue to look out for her son.

+ He ran for mayor in the small town of Braddock, PA. He won the Braddock mayoral election in 2005 by a single vote and was re-elected in 2009, 2013, and 2017. He was described by the New York Times as “the world’s coolest mayor.” Here’s a photo of the 6’8″ mountain of a man (the tattoo you see is the ZIP code of Braddock):

+ He has made equality, environmental protection, gay rights, immigration, and marijuana legalization major campaign issues.

+ Following his election, Fetterman initiated youth and art programs, created a community center, and has tried to initiate development of the town’s mostly ruined buildings and poor economy. With family money, Fetterman purchased the town’s First Presbyterian Church before demolition for $50,000, living in the basement for several months.

+ He later purchased an adjacent warehouse for $2,000, placed two shipping containers on the roof for “extra living space” and moved in. He has since purchased and renovated many additional houses and offered cheap, even free, rent. Fetterman has attracted many young artists to the town through cheap rent and starting various art exhibitions.

+ Fetterman’s commitment to the community of Braddock is shown with various tattoos. On his left arm are the numbers 15104 – Braddock’s ZIP Code, and on the right, the dates of five murders that occurred in the town since he was elected mayor.

+ Fetterman lives in a converted car dealership with his wife, Gisele, and their three children, Karl, Grace and August. Fetterman has chosen not to live in State House, the Pennsylvania Lieutenant Governor’s official residence. I would also note that his wife is simply stunning:

+ Last month, the aforementioned gorgeous wife was called a “nigger” when she was grocery shopping by a woman who followed her around and verbally berated her. She was also told she should “go back home.” If anyone reading this would like to place a bet with me on who this verbal assailant voted for during the Presidential campaign, I’m happy to take that bet.

+ In November 2020, during the contested final count of the 2020 Presidential Election, Fetterman gained national press coverage for saying Donald Trump was “no different than any other random internet troll” and that he “can sue a ham sandwich”.

Nowhere does this guy mention his religious beliefs. But I can tell you this man’s life, behavior, and principles are true Christianity. He out-Christians the hell out of your host, and God knows he runs circles around the entire multi-billion-dollar Prosperity Religious Industry, packed with charlatans, hangers-on, and venal hypocites.

All I can say is: God Bless John Fetterman. He’s an ubermensch.