If we imprisoned all the white collar criminals, charlatans, and financial scumbags over the last twenty years, I would finally go long something, which is private prisons. I suspect the quantity of the aforementioned categories is well into the hundreds of thousands, and among these are the crooks from Carvana, which pushed their crap business model onto the public during the fake Covid bull market. Needless to say, the delighted executives cashed out big-time, sucking billions of cash from dim-witted investors who listen to the likes of Jim Cramer and consider him intelligent.
Here is the public reporting of buys (blue bars) and sells (red bars). You will kindly note the paucity of blue.
Fast forward to today, and observe CVNA losing 99%, yes, 99%, of its value.
So the convicted felon Garcia is ruined, right? Don’t count on it.
Below we see him gleefully watching the shares go public along with his son, shown on the left, who had to take the CEO role since daddy, as a convicted felon, couldn’t preside over a public company.
So what should we do with all those stupid Carvana “vending machines” polluting the landscape? Simple: put every executive who garnered $1,000,000 or more from CVNA sales over the past few years, bind them in rope, and let retail shareholders visit their closest vending machine and do with their bodies whatever they desire (whips will be provided free of charge). The bonus is that the vending machines are largely comprised of glass, so the public gets a free show in the process.
I celebrate their demise for one main reason: this insipid commercial, to which I was subjected countless times. Good-bye, Carvana. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
