Sequester Helter Skelter……….Evil Plan 107.0 (by BDI)

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I will keep this piece brief today Slope-a-Dopes, much to your delight I'm sure, as quite frankly, I am getting rather sick & tired of you malfunctioning maggots senselessly momo pumping this pipe dream into the stratosphere.  So, before I get all medieval on your sorry pump-monkey asses, a la carved Charles Manson style, let's slice & dice our way to the chase.  The deadly serious sadistic Sequester is now at hand, and there will most assuredly be dark pools of type A blood and shredded U.S. guts left on the Senate's magnificently tiled floor.  (that one's for you Iggy)

The State of the Union is to be delivered to the numbnuts Nation this Tuesday evening, by the recently re-elected and freshly ground POTUS dark roast, whom will undoubtedly be buzzing & beaming with electrified pride & confidence. There is nothing quite like winning an election to rejuvenate and regalvanize a putrid pathetic politician.  Sally Field's elated Oscar night outburst comes to mind; "They loved me, they really really love me……."                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

If it's anything like his inauguration speech, our beloved commander in briefs, will not have much manhood meat to offer us.  However, what will be lacking in substance, will most definitely be made up in elongated & bloviated size, since he was recently chastised for delivering far too few sultry words of wisdom during his last wonderful attempt to woo us, on his bogus inaugural hocus-pocus-potus day.  The one thing we do know about this petty Presidential punk, is that he never makes the same mistake twice, make no mistake.                                                                                                                                                                                
As for the true substance of the SOTU speech, if we find any, it will be a long laudatory list of all that has gone right so far at the laundromat, followed by an equally long laundry list of what still needs to be washed in order to get all the reds, whites & blues sparkling clean, soft & dry again in the great American tidy Tide Downy land.  The one part of the speech that may require extra Shout spot remover, however, will be when Bambam bangs his bully billy club against the previously scheduled blood stained Sequester cuts.  While he's banging away, expect half the chamber to Bounce up in awe, while the other half remains steamed and firmly pressed in disgust.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Slice-and-dice_filtered-tiny (1)Now that the laundry has been neatly folded, onto the juicy red meat of the butcher's prime sequester cuts. The slicing & dicing mad cow mayhem is officially slated to commence on the 1st of next month.  As I have previously warned you counter top deli dopes, beware the sharp blades of March.  The routed Republicans are in no mood for another Obonga bamboozle.  They have made it crystal cut clear, that if the slicer in chief categorically refuses to brandish his sharpest double edged Wilkinson sword, they will promptly pull out the Cuisinart and instantly start dicing without him.                                                                                                                             
The always outspoken and clean-shaven senator Lindsey Graham sees it this way:
“I think [the cuts are] more likely to happen. And I’m ashamed of the Congress, I’m ashamed of the president, and I’m ashamed of being in this body, quite frankly,” said Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (R-S.C.), an Air Force Reservist who has been working for months to develop a bipartisan plan to protect the Pentagon.
Clearly, House Speaker Boehner came up empty handed in the last federal fiscal free-fall fracas, but I don't expect him to cave in so readily this time around.  After all, politicians really resent being so utterly neutered, especially when the bright lights shined squarely on their private parts while dancing on center stage.  You can bet your devalued dollar, that he's totally prepared to perform his hula-hoop dance with Pakalolo POTUS this time around!                                                                                                                                                                                      
This According to the National Review:
Tom DeLay, the former House majority leader, who was meeting with a few of his former colleagues on Wednesday at the Capitol, says Boehner’s playbook is “sharp,” since defense spending “can always be replaced during the appropriations process, after the cuts are put into place.” 

“You can always put money back in for defense,” DeLay says. “I think Boehner is going to stick with the sequester since the cuts are already happening, and if he needs to do something later, he can. I don’t think the president realizes how Boehner has the upper hand.”
As for the White House Charlie's, their demonic Mansonesque demagogic strategy is to scare the living shit & piss out of everybody, with sadistically tall tales of sequester nightmares. They have compiled quite a lengthy list of worrisome White House woes online.  Deep cuts here, sharp cuts there, bloody cuts everywhere!  If you have enough doomsday time on your hands, go check out all the horrors for yourself, in dastardly detail, right here at this link to the White House Press Office.                                                                                                                                                                                        
The abridged version of the WH fear mongering laundry list, includes multiple slashing & crippling cuts to;  Education, Small business, Food safety, Research & innovation, Mental health, FBI & other law enforcement, US attorneys, Emergency responders, NIH research, NSF research, New drug approvals, Small business assistance, Economic development, International trade, IRS customer service & tax compliance, Native American programs, Workplace safety, Title one education funds, Special education (IDEA), Head start, Social security application & beneficiary services, Senior meals, Nutrition assistance for woman, infants and children, Rental assistance, Emergency employment compensation, Homelessness programs, Substance abuse services, AIDS & HIV treatment prevention, Tribal services……etc.  Well, you get the picture.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
It's on like Obongakong!  Just as the president had been doing his utmost to distance himself and disparage the whole idea of a Sequester, Speaker Boenher has openly fired back by reminding POTUS that it was his very own administration that had come up with the concept of the Sequester in the first place.  The Speaker has commenced an all out online social media blitzkrieg, launching a terrific twittersphere war campaign yesterday to underscore his point.  He certainly has gone ballistic, by going as far as inventing a totally new lethal word to pin the sequester directly on the donkey President.  The deadly weapon of choice goes by the hash-tag name #Obamaquester!   Let the games begin!
So, here's my slick savant schtick on the sordid season of the Sequester. To quote a well known Petty song, the Republicans won't back down, and El Presidente won't have his cup cakes and eat them too.  Stocks & Bonds will definitely not enjoy the nasty, wide open, all out party bashing, and will soon swoon swiftly into the idiotic Ides of March.  However, once the putrid politico punks finally do come to terms on yet another even more fraudulent faux fiscal fix, the market will rapily reverse just as sharply, Springing its tulips right back up towards the hot Summer sun.  Got wax Icarus?                                                                                                                                                                                    
SPX 1390 here we come…………..we need more red hot wax……………Evil Plan 107.0
             BDI SOH's Sexy Idiot Savant