Green Apron

By -

I’ve never been a fan of Blue Apron (APRN), and I’ve written out it before, including this post from earlier this year. As you can see, the stock has been a ceaseless disaster. This is the entire history of the firm as a public entity, and even in this completely fake, fraudulent, phony bull market, it has collapsed almost to the point of delisting………

slopechart APRN

So what’s to be done? Well, I have a suggestion for the nimrods running the place, and I offer it free of charge. Marijuana!

Now, I’m kind of a Puritanical, anti-drug type, and I’ve made the mistake of revealing that from time to time, but the cold fact of the matter is that pot is the new blockchain. I see huge, professionally-designed billboards along the freeway where I live for pot delivery services and pot-finding apps. Why not go into the business of kits to cook edible marijuana products?

Pot-laced brownies! Hash oil cookies! There are so many possibilities, and they could certainly get a ton of free press.

Oh, you don’t think such a thing would put the life-paddles on this dying stock? What about David’s Tea, which has become all the rage now that rumors about pot-laced rinks are circulating?

slopechart DTEA

As with blockchain, such a stunt might only have positive effects for a week or two, but what else are they going to try? A zesty new banana pudding recipe? Go with my idea. It’s brilliant.

I also want all your Slopers (the ones without premium accounts) to know that I am giving away the next 30 days of Bronze membership for free. Just click here to immediately get all the benefits below without any cost. Cancel within a month, and there’s no charge. If you decide to stick around, it’s our least expensive premium offering at just $9.95 per month. What a deal!